Think your marriage is great? This author has seen the greatest marriages crumble. This author has also helped guide some of the worst marriages to greatness. So what gives? Effort.
Almost all marriages at some point are good to great. What happens? The Comfort Zone. Kids, jobs, busy, busy, busy. How often do you hear or say, “I’m so busy”? Many put all their efforts into everything but their marriage. In time, what was once “Great” goes to “Good”; goes to “WTF”? One can even thinks it’s “Good” while the other is in a full affair. Most have no idea something is going on.
You see, the “Comfort Zone” = the “Fade Zone”. One or both sides stop doing the little things that means so much (kind words, touch, acts of service, date nights, quality time, etc.). Guess what? When you stop doing what means most to your spouse, someone will step in. It always happens. Someone at work or in the neighborhood says or does something nice. It may start perfectly innocent. In time, one will crave more. It can become intoxicating. You think I’m B.S.? Just look at the stats. Today, 50%+ of first marriages divorce. Of those 49% left, what percent succumbs to an affair? Half? More? So do the math. That could mean up to 75% of marriages deal with some type of affair/betrayal.
Contrary to what you may think, this isn’t a doomsday post. In fact, this author is a hopeless romantic. This author is obsessed with what works and what doesn’t for marriages and families. So, in studying what does work? Effort. Constant communication. Mercy. Forgiveness. No comfort zone. Just an effort zone…always. Like tending to a fire. Always keeping an eye on it and making adjustments when necessary. Want more? Check out this listen… https://www.focusonthefamily.com/media/daily-broadcast/affair-proof-your-marriage-pt1