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Bold Brian's Download

Bold Brian's Download. Below is the actual notes written down by Bold Brian. You can also go back to In Season 2, Episode 10 of the FriDudes Podscast to check it out. ("Why Believe in God? Or Why Not?", published on 3/6/20)...


Gents,  Since I'm new to the FriDudes group and I've been vocal you might be thinking who is this new guy.  So, Info:  I'm 62, from Moorhead, 76 grads, played football, basketball, baseball.  Do art, enjoy reading other than Bible, books like Vince Flynn, gardening, playing with grandkids, traveling.  I went to Concordia College Moorhead played Football and Baseball, and 81 grads.  Married 39 years this June with my rock, one child, son Zachary 33.  Then below is what I wrote and read daily as part of prayers but also a reminder.  I'm fully committed to God, seen a miracle with my wife, I've had personal encounters/conversations with God and have gifts our Father has given me.

JOURNEY - Since Jan’14 NIV - Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, ”declares the Lord,“ plans to prosper you and not to harm your plan to give you hope and a future. GOOD NEWS - Deuteronomy 8:2 - Remember how the Lord your God led you on this long journey through the desert these past forty years (6 years), sending hardships to test you, so that he might know what you intended to do and whether you would obey his commands.

  1. Year Journey to date from Jan’2014:

  • Finding out I have permanent Short-term memory loss from many football concussions and years of self-harm(long story about this) which possibly has added to me developing undiagnosed Concussion Syndrome.

  • I think more slowly / I work at work more slowly / I sometimes speak more slowly / I sometimes get stuck on what I’m supposed to do / Mood changes / Walk more slowly / I DO have all the symptoms of CTE-Concussion Syndrome, are just a few.

  • Getting Guion Berra Syndrome: (LASTED 10 MONTHS until BURNING OUT)

  • This Syndrome takes over your nerve system and in my case, I was numb from the neck up, unable to taste or smell food, or even if I cut myself from a tree branch working outside I would not have felt it. In addition, I was the first in developing cataracts within the first three months after being diagnosed which were immediately taken out. / Major symptom though was losing all balance.

  • Going into the deepest depression (Jan. 2014) I wish on no one: On Meds & still in Therapy

  • Developed extreme Anxiety disorder: On Meds & still in Therapy (I do have Anxiety attacks and Panic attacks from time to time)

  • Learned Meditation which I do every morning as preparation for my day talking to God and GIVING MY DAY TO HIM. Plus - Praying for those with greater needs than mine.

  • Having unexpected heart attack with a stent.

  • Developed mini seizures from concussions and self-harm.

  • Brain freezes at work lasting 20 seconds to three minutes long, where my brain stops working because of work (brain) overload, but was able to bring me back to reality / On Meds and working.

  • I’ve been informed by my neurologist that I could have a stroke.

  • From my Memory Testing Dr, I was informed at some point I will get dementia.

  • Dealing with not knowing future (what will happen to my brain next).

  • Knowing my wife is highly concerned daily. (Puts guilt on my mind & heart)

  • Lower back spinal fusion: Deal with lower back muscle pain at times.

  • Feb’20 had left shoulder replacement. (Success)

**** Even with these past six hardship years, I’ve always looked at my glass half full instead of half empty. Meaning, I’m optimistic each day. I’ve never, ever blamed God for these six years. Every morning when my feet hit the floor from the bed, I give thanks to God for giving me another day to do His work. So, I live each day as if it’s my last with God by my side. Then when I go to bed, I thank God for the day He’s given me and if I should wake, that’s great by me and if not, I’m not afraid of dying and being with Him. **** Through these six years, I’ve never given up on myself just as Jesus never gave up on Himself in preparing to die on the cross for our sins. SO WHY SHOULD I GIVE UPON MYSELF during my adversities. What a perfect example! I have a no-quit attitude to life and enjoy each day to its fullest as best I can because I fully believe God is in control. Don’t get me wrong, just because I believe God is next to me every day doesn’t make me have perfect days. As this is far from the truth. There are days, I want to quit my job, or get so frustrated at work because my brain just isn’t clicking on all cylinders, or I’m on another planet (just not in the moment). I’m human, with human issues like everyone. There are even nights I cry myself to sleep as I just cannot control what’s going on and do not want to wake in the morning. All in all, my days are good or bad, and I’m OK with this by remembering my glass is half full as my FATHER God is in control. I will never stop thanking my FATHER for Him being alongside me during this CURRENT journey. So, my life is what it is. It is my life and I do not have to like it, but I do accept it. DIFFICULTIES GOOD NEWS - 2 Corinthians 12:10 - I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. STRENGTHS GOOD NEWS - Philippians 4:13 - I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me. So, my GOAL every day is to read this as a positive and not a negative in order to remember and prep myself on what’s in store for me that day, as you have no way of knowing what’s around the corner.

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